Tell us where you hid the bodies. Evidence shows you are not calm, not chill. You’re panicking aren’t you? Now, even further evidence shows that you are not calm, not chill.
*pause for a moment to exclaim that YOU ARE CALM*
Take a deep breath, man. It’s a good thing. The not take no nonsense, no prisoners, and no read receipts. So pat yourself on the back. Throw yourself a party in your brain. Do whatever. Just don’t freak out.
Pyramid Scheme Runner: because no one is as persuasive as you. *beware: it’s lonely at the top*
Trash Artist: Dumpster diving is not for the calm of heart.
Pirate: How many kinds of people can literally rob others of their riches with a parrot on their shoulder? Not very many.